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Адрес: ул.Поповича, 20а
Большое угловое крыльцо, ориентир: вывеска "Родник"
Мы ждем вас в 19.45 во вторник 12 февраля.

Teaching

Russian teaching systems makes me go AAAARGH!!! Generally there is a lot of requirements - certain type of education, certification, medical exams, you need to write education programs, organize events... ah, there is so much, even starting this list is giving me a slight headache already.

Anyway, because requirements are very strict and salary is very low, there are not too many candidates for the job. They try to raise the salary for teachers, but it's not a big raise. Besides, teachers are usually kind and nice and often conservative people who agree that all requirements are very important and "if I must, I must!" which I guess is the reason the system is not changing.

I teach dance styles that are not really taught in educational institutions. My dance style is a mix of hip-hop, modern jazz, bellydance, flamenco, samba, tap and maybe something else... It is hard to write out a program which is supposed to list all class plans for at least two years! I improvise! I create my classes on the go. If I start planning them, it will break for free flow. The only reason I teach there is because of the big dance studio, even though it lacks mirrors, and because the director allowed me to charge my adult students as much as I wish to charge them, they just pay me cash for classes and that is my actual salary.

It started out very nicely, but then the situation got tight. They seem to want to much. They want obedience and conformance... Creativity can't be obedient! It's an oxymoron! I think I'd rather pay rent and not have to be subordinate to anyone... It's getting hard to breathe there...

Last weekend I had a conversation with a break-dance teacher. He has a really wonderful crew, they go to national competitions and battles and have a good standing there, he said that it is only the first year that I get the financial freedom, then they start to tighten it up even more and said I need to learn to be very defensive with them if I want to protect my dance style and my "actual salary" from their intervention. The system is so rigid and inflexible, it is one of the reasons why many new dance styles could not develop in Russia, all we have is ballet and folk dance at good levels, but all the other new dance styles came from US and Europe.

So I think I want to quit.... I mean, I've been dreaming of my own dance studio for years, haven't I. And that must mean that until I reach my dream, I won't really be satisfied in other work places. So why am I wasting time? My soul won't rest until I reach my goal, might as well get started. The best way to start on a new job is to quit the old one, because then you don't have a choice, right? :)

I still need to find a temporary dance class, because I have about 20 adult girls and 50 kids who enjoy my classes and would get very upset if I suddenly stop teaching. Need to think about it.

You never know

My mom came home finally. She went to visit grandma and stayed there for over a month, since grandma was not doing very well... The original version was she had had a stroke, but then the tests showed a lung cancer at a very late stage and already spread to brain... Nobody knows for how long she's had it.

The weird thing is that in my father's family, my great-grandpa was a smoker and lived a long life without any serious health problems. Here, my grandma never smoked, didn't even drink really except on holidays, lived on a farm, worked in a garden, fresh air, home-grown fruits and vegetables, and she gets lung cancer! Go figure...

Personally I'm not very worried about grandma, I've never been very close with her, she has my aunt to take care for her, and she does not really realize that she's sick, and I think it's a good thing... What bothers me is how my mom is going to take it. The way I see it, she needs to learn to let go. I've read that cancer is a result of past anger that you let stay, rather than working it out, it slowly poisons you life. My mom has similar issues concerning my dad, it's been almost 10 years since they separated, but they still haven't divorced, she can't forgive him, he lives on feeling guilty... Will it ever end?

I have my issues that I can't let go as well. And I start to seriously wonder how I'm supposed to do it. Generally I have figured my life out, and it's like I hold on to the past problems because I'm afraid to finally REALLY figure it out... But I guess one still needs to just learn to let go for good, or you never know what health problems it can bring to you even if you lead the healthiest life style.

Crazy, crazy... but popular :)

I did some very minor advertising throughout school and I have SO MANY new students, phone calls keep coming, I can't even answer all the phone calls (I am my own receptionist), yesterday the dance hall was crowded. It's like I made a wish for my dance studio to be a nicely popular place that people know about, and now I'm in the be-careful-what-you-wish-for area... But my classes ARE for everybody, and I don't intend to raise the price or come up with an entrance exam... I'll rely on natural selection. Those who are meant to be dancers will stay, the curious seekers will probably leave within a month.

In the meanwhile I did a small promotional video for my studio. It's in Russian, listing the name and the dance styles. Here it is. Let's see if it works.

My world

Sometimes I wonder what was the whole deal with Moscow, why I went there if I never intended to stay... I thought it was about the Moscow Boy, but now I realize he had nothing to do with it, he was just another reason pushing me to make a big move... Dance? Um, not really, just another reason, making my move rational and explainable to everybody and myself... Searching for change, or challenge, running away, self-abuse even... What for? Still remains a question without an answer to me. But either way it had brought me to where I am now, that's for sure.

I've been going to a very interesting counselor. It started out with marriage problems, one tiny step away from divorce... She showed me a new way of looking at things. I thought I was a victim and had all these troubles hitting me, but she made me see it as a bunch of events I initiated and caused to happen, I guess I was mad a myself, sabotaged my own marriage, my life, my love... Running away, constantly searching for something, totally unable to see that it's all in front of me, I just refuse to notice it. And ever since then life was pretty magical, except for some bad habits kept from the past.

Anyway, I still go to that counselor, because she would give me absolutely extraordinary advice, and it would amazingly work. For example I've had this weird seasonal allergy, not sure what I was allergic to, but it was making me miserable for a month. So I signed up for an appointment. She goes: start writing. Every morning you need to write at least three pages, in complete sentences, everything that comes to your mind, just put it all down, and don't be surprised if it starts to come out in rhymes.

Believe it or not, the allergy symptoms disappear completely after I finish the second page and if I give up on writing for a week, the allergy comes back. Works better than any pills!

She also wondered if I had picked up this allergy from a close friend of mine. I've NEVER had such allergies before, but my friend Sonya gets them every spring, and my symptoms are exactly the same as hers, so it's like my body observed it and adopted. Anyway, that's how I found out the strange and weird way things can go.

And one more thing I've learned is completely opposite of what everyone has been telling me all my life. It is to never make an effort. If you need to make an effort, then something's out of order, maybe you're not going the right way. It's like if you have a problem with math, then maybe you're just not supposed to be a math person in this life, so the problems tell you to think if you are doing the right thing. Living should be effortless, it should come natural. It does not change the way you do things, but it changes the way you feel about them.

For example I'm really bad at performing the housewife duties. I forgo cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, doing dishes, etc. I was always surprised with how my husband takes care of these things - I even felt guilty about having him do everything about the house, although he said it was OK. The guilt made me even worse, I'd force myself to cook, clean... fight with myself, grope about the guilt, get lazy, which leads to more guilt. BUT when I'm in a nice playful mood, I cook wonderfully - my husband gets his first and second course AND dessert for lunch, I'd set the clothes to wash and then be like: did I really do it? I can't even remember myself sorting out the pile of dirty clothes, yet everything is in perfect order! That's how you catch that wave, and everything comes out effortlessly, you don't even spend too much time doing it... I guess that's how successful people get so much done, even though they get just as many hours a day as anyone else.

So time management is not a solution, I think. When you are doing the right thing, time is your servant.

Projects, projects....

Well, I have started ordering stuff for costumes for my show. I've been thinking about a name, I had one in my head and thought it was set and done, I wanted to name it Sonata, but my friends said it's too classical for a topless show. Then I thought something along the lines of Showgirls, Dreamgirls, Goldengirls... Then I switched to food names. Vanilla, Caramel, Chocolate... When you think about it for too long, there comes a wave of useless names, and you just can't help it, stuff like Salmon Dance...

I want to focus the show on the girls, so I wish I had a name which can also be used like a nickname for the girls. Like in Coyote Ugly they called the girls Coyotes.

Did some calculations, I'm gonna need about 15,000 bucks to get the show started. We'll sell one car for about 10,000 and the rest of the money will somehow appear on the way.

Another question is how to phrase the ad to attract the girls for the show. Yesterday I had a meeting for my dance students and I have made an announcement that if they know anyone who wishes to dance topless in a new show I'm making, and instantly every single one of them blushed, started giggling... Man, why does it have to be a sensitive subject! It's just a dance project, it's not about stripping even, it's about creating a certain visual experience, it's as much a performance art as any Swan Lake performance! Dancing in stilettos is just a tiny bit easier than dancing in pointe shoes!

AND I need to get a kids group, the center where I teach my dance classes has a requirement that I get a children's group, it's because it is on state budget and budgeting is provided for children's classes.

New Dreams

So I have a new dream. I want to make my own show. I really really really want my own show. I've been sort of empty for the last couple of years due to lack of dreams or goals. I have achieved everything I had wanted. I was teaching dance classes, happily married to the man I loved, solved all relationship problems, no longer tried to run away from my self, found wonderful friends, I mean I have everything. Except for baby. But I'm just not ready for a baby, all the other baby-related problems (such as husband's commitment phobia) have been solved. I simply didn't know where to go... I had no goals left on my to do list.

Well, I guess it was just a break to rest, because now I'm ready to start something new. I'm gonna make my own dance show. It's gonna be different from what I've been doing before. I've decided to go out of my "every body can dance" standard and actually let myself be biased and hire four tall girls with nice boobs. Yes, I'm sure about that, even though I make myself feel weird by stating that, I'm really against that sort of "natural selection" but this time it's important, because I want to make it an eye-candy show, the kind where it's enough for the girls to simply get up on stage and everyone will go "WOW!"

In fact, the humanitarian part is that I'm not looking for ready-made models, I need girls with an attitude and expression, emotional and lively, teach them to carry themselves like queens, how to walk like a queen and dance like a queen, how to take care of their bodies, pay for skin care and tanning (fake or real tan, let them chose), make beautiful costumes, teach them to go crazy on stage and dance their soul out...

Oh I wish I had four more YuliaGs, that would make a perfect show :))))
Just kidding

I already have a ton of ideas for music, staging, costumes... I'm nervous and excited, haven't found my four queens yet, maybe I should do an ad. Oh that's all I can think of lately...

Doggy Style

The puppy went to obedience school yesterday. Dima is the designated puppy owner, so he's supposed to be training with him, but I was curious to come along. Of course we took Happy in her pink Juicy Couture bag and I grabbed a book, mostly so I wouldn't create an impression of somebody just sitting there staring, it was like I'm just bringing my book and my baby doggy so I can sit on a bench in the park and read while the rest of my family is attending the obedience class.

Yeah, I did feel a little out of league among German Shepard owners, although there was one black Labrador pup and one Fox Terrier. Our Lucky is a mix-breed, a street dog, but he fit in rather well. In fact he behaved so well, he made me proud. Some older dogs there were quite unruly.

In general, it was just... different. Some new experience, being among big dog owners, listening to the dog trainer. Funny guy who pretends to be a dog, to demonstrate how a dog should behave, speaks in funny voices, because it attracts the dog's attention, uses German language to talk to the dogs (because they are German Shepards, they understand German???) and the same time stressing the importance of staying focused and serious during the class. His words: "we laugh and have fun at home, were are here to work!"... That coming from the guy who speaks German to German Shepards... And he does train professional police/military dogs.

I've heard he's a real fan of his job. He invents training assignments in forests, runs obedience competitions, distributes hard-to-find periodicals and books on dog training, and dogs seem to understand him no matter what language he speaks... Although I guess German Shepards understand German better.

Maybe we should try to speak some street language to our dog, since he's from the streets. Something like "yo, sit down bro!" Gosh, Happy is Chinese Crested, and I don't know a single word in Chinese!

It all comes true! Inevitably!

We really wanted a new car, because Dima's old Toyota Caldina is actually a pretty pathetic sort of car. Well, it's not really pathetic, but I do seriously believe that my husband deserves a much better car than that... So we were looking for a Land Cruiser or something of that sort. They cost over 40 000 and with our rent expenses plus planning mortgage or some way to buy an apartment, we can't really afford. Well, we can, but I'm used to a certain lifestyle that I just can't sacrifice for a car. Going out, eating out, shopping... I like it, I don't want to give it up. I enjoy being careless about the money.

So I made a wish to get a new car, well, if not for free, then for a really-really good price! And what do you know, the next day Dima called me and said that in the parking lot, right next to his car he saw a nice jeepy car (in Russia any big car is called a jeep, I don't know what difference it makes...) and it's less than 11 000 dollars! Which is twice as little as we intended to spend on a car. Cars of that sort start at about 20 000... He called that guy, and that person needs to leave as soon as possible, so he has like three days to sell the car, that's why he kept lowering the price. He actually gave us another 1000 bucks off.

The first thing that comes to mind is why in the world it's so cheap... Well, questions and doubts are the reason wishes do not come true, so I guess the real reason is that I made a wish and I got what I had wanted. If we sell our old car now, it will be like we got the car of our dreams almost for free. Just like I wanted! Dima's friend is in vehicle regualtions business so he checked all the documents and police information on the car, it's all in good condition.

The guy who sold it is like this nerdy family guy, he seems a bit lost, I guess he really has to sell his car ASAP. Well I believe that what goes around comes around and one day he'll have his dream come true too. I'm not very good when it comes to vehicles. I just look at the color. By the way the color was exactly like I had imagined it. Another cool thing that I noticed is that it's not too high off the ground like many jeeps, so if I have a short skirt on, I won't have to do a split to get into the car.

Wooo!!! I'm so excited!

Tags:

some pictures

Is it ok that these are not behind the cut thing? I kinda forgot how to do that stuff so I didn't bother.



This is me and my dog Happy at our favorite cafe. I take Happy along with me, she goes into my purse and she makes people happy, that's what cute doggies do to people!


She's 3 years old.


This is my wedding. The day was so sunny and hot, we were happy we had chosen to avoid the traditional long multi-skirt dress for me and classic suit for Dima.



Perfect couple, huh?



I am living proof that happiness makes people beautiful :)))) I had the dress made by the lady who makes costumes for our show and decorated it with beads myself, so it's all hand-made! Ok, just one more wedding pic...



That's supposed to be the bride room, Dima was supposed to be in the groom's room before the ceremony, but I figured it was stupid to pretend we arrived to the ceremony separately, so he sneaked into the bride's room and the photographer was taking pictures, he was a bit too conservative and wouldn't let me put my legs up on the couch, so we had to kick him out and take our own pictures. I had the bridesmaids do the job.

this is exactly one year after the wedding, a month ago, we decided to go to the seashore to celebrate our first anniversary and found this baby puppy... I guess the puppy was our anniversary gift from the Universe, because he did manage to resolve many of our conflicts that used to disturb our marriage somewhat, but I'll write about that later

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